I’ve been thinking a lot about goodness lately.
The goodness within us and around us.
Who and what just feels really good in my life?
Have you ever considered this? Mull over these questions with me for a moment.
- How often do I actually engage what feels good?
- How often do I move toward who feels good?
I honestly shuddered a bit when I thought about my reality–I engage goodness not nearly as much as I’d like. Damn. I often get too caught up in the 'shoulds' or the expectations and don't realize I'm mindlessly sifting away the goodness right in front of me.
What about you? Where do you spend more of your time? What choices do you most commonly make day in, day out? Surprising, isn’t it?
So why do we resist what actually feels good–in ourselves, our lives, careers, health, leadership, or relationships? Why do we neglect that which serves us and who really sees us?
Why instead do we often hustle for the attention and affection of those who don’t take the time to invest in us?
Perhaps we don’t yet deeply see our own inherent goodness.
We may casually know our goodness. But do we know its depth? Do we know how to even describe our unique and inherent goodness? Or are we just hoping someone else might tell us?
Self-Worth & Goodness
We commonly resist what actually feels good and who actually feels good because we do not believe we are worthy of such goodness. So we choose the unhealthy option, the most convenient option. We choose the most accessible person, the safe person, the powerful person, or the person who will never be our soul’s mirror.
When we have not yet embraced ourselves and come to understand the depth of our own goodness as we are, we elect to hustle for our goodness in places we will never find it.
This feels more safe somehow.
But this kind of safety isn't actually real.
We give our goodness away to those who do not appreciate it simply because this is what we know to do. It is the muscle our mind knows best because sometime long ago, we believed our worth was born from outside of us and we had to earn it.
Here’s the best part, though. The patterns of our mind can be disrupted. We can choose differently. And there is no better time than the end of a year to leave old and useless patterns of thought and behavior behind. Check out Carol Dweck's fabulous book, Mindset, if you're interested in learning more.
Looking our worth in the eye is damn hard.
Embracing our goodness with open arms is damn hard too.
While resistance is often the belief that what we really want we cannot have so we might as well take what is before us, courage is the belief and chosen practice that we are inherently good and that we are worthy of seeking and embracing the goodness we desire.
Here’s the tough part. Goodness is commonly underrated. It is often anti-climatic. It doesn’t always feel like the sexy choice. It oddly feels like home. And admittedly sometimes like a home we want to resist. And yes, the practice of embracing goodness shows up everywhere; work, home, business, school, the grocery store line, the dog park, and our commutes.
But the lasting part? Goodness will consistently remind us who we are, embrace our humanity, and quietly push us to forever look inward for our worth.
May we all lean into the goodness around us and within us this season.